Yesterday Little Reader came home from dance class in a terrible funk. She was snipping at her brother and sister, talking back and yelling at me. I put her in timeout and once she had calmed down we talked. She admitted that she had gotten mad because she had had a bad day. The first problem was a misunderstanding with her teacher, but that was quickly solved. The main problem was her former BFF. Last year she had three really close friends (A, B & S) in her class. Over the summer B moved and no longer goes to the same school. A has a different teacher so the only time Little Reader sees her is at lunch and recess. S is still in her class and they play together. A has also recently started taking gymnastics and often wants to spend recess practicing her new moves with some of the other girls who take gymnastics. Little Reader isn't interested in gymnastics and feels left out.
I asked if she had invited A to play and she said she had, and was told that she would rather work on cartwheels or whatever. I asked her if she had told A how she feels about being left out and she said yes. As she was telling me all this, Sting started singing in my head,
Free, free, set them free
Free, free, set them free
Free, free, set them free
I asked her if she had ever heard the phrase, "if you love somebody, set them free". I told her that either A has made new friends based on her new interests and she and A may not be as close anymore, or if she stops asking A to play, she may eventually get tired of her gymnastics stuff and come back and want to play with Little Reader again. In the meantime she still has S and other friends. It's always sad to lose a friend, but it happens - especially in grade school.
You know, I can still feel the pain of this from being a kid. Gosh, being a parent of school aged kids is going to be really hard.
ReplyDeleteThe relationship/friend drama definitely increases once they hit grade school. I'm hoping that if she gets in the habit of talking about things with me now that she'll continue as she gets older and the issues potentially more serious.
DeleteShe's really mature to have opened up and told you why (after the time out). I probably wouldn't have known what I was upset about, when I was younger...
ReplyDeleteI was never good at talking about my feelings (still am not). She used to be just as bad and would brood over things for ages. I think I've finally convinced her that talking things out can really help, and it really has. I also encouraged her to write in her diary.
DeleteI think it is great how well you daughter talks to you. Having great communication with your children is so important to me. I have a daughter in grade school. She has had her bad days, but I always applaud her when comes to me and talks about it. So important.
ReplyDeleteThanks for following. Looking forward to reading more. : ) Did you enter my Flower Ring/Watch Giveaway? If interested stop by and enter. Thanks! Julie from Stlavonlady – Scatterbrained In St. Louis