Let me start by saying I don't do drugs, never have, never will. I do drink, but that's it as far as chemicals that mess with your head. I just never had any interest in pot (or anything stronger). Through the years, some of my friends have used it, and offered me, but I never accepted and they never pushed. I never used to judge my friends who smoked, I figured it was their business and not mine. I mean their smoking wasn't effecting me in any way. But now we all have kids and they still do it. My oldest daughter is the oldest kid in our group and the other kids ages range from 6 years down to 6 months old. A couple weeks ago we were at the birthday party of one of these kids and while the kids were still up and running around some of the parents started sneaking into to one of the closets to get high.
When we were getting ready to leave my kids were looking for the Moms to say goodbye. We found 3 of them sitting on the porch smoking pot with the front door locked so the kids couldn't come out. Their children were all running around in the backyard with the Dads. It was a windowed door, so my kids could see them out there, and the Moms waved through the door, but that didn't seem sufficient to my kids. They wanted to say goodbye properly, thank the hostess, give hugs goodbye etc. One of the Moms (not the hostess) finally realized this and came back inside to give everyone hugs and we went on our way. I have to say at first I was a bit annoyed. Again I don't care if they choose to smoke, but it seems inappropriate for them to do it in front of the kids. I do drink in front of my kids, but not to the point of getting drunk, and I feel like getting high is on the same level as getting drunk in front of your kids. It just sets a bad example. As we were driving home, I asked my husband if he thought I was being too judgmental but he agreed with me that he thought it was inappropriate of them. I was annoyed for a few days and considered how I would broach the subject next time I saw these women.
Then I changed my mind, and figured when it happens again, if my kids ask about it, I'll use it as a teaching moment. My oldest has already had the beginnings of the "Say No to Drugs" lesson in school, and we've tried to reinforce it at home. We've talked about peer pressure and I figured if our kids ever ask what our friends are doing, I'll just tell them, but point out that just cause our friends do it, their Dad and I don't. We can still be friends and respect each persons right to do what they want, without pushing each other one way or the other. I am still a bit conflicted though that they will think doing drugs is ok, because these are people my kids know well (as we've all been friends before the kids were born) and like and respect. I guess it comes back to our family, our rules.
I do wonder how those parents are going to handle drugs when their kids are teenagers. It's not that any of them are addicts. It really does seem to be a social thing for them. Will they keep smoking until their kids reach a certain age, and then quit? I mean what is the line in the sand for them, or do they never plan on stopping? And if not are they going to smoke with their kids, or allow them to do it? I do believe in teaching kids how to drink responsibly so they learn not to drink and drive and also they don't go off to college never having tried it, and then end up going crazy there as some of my friends did, but drugs are different.