Thursday, June 30, 2011

Why can't we all just get along?

Parenting is not a competition.  We all have the same goal, raising children who will grow in to happy healthy adults who make us proud in whatever path they choose and the way the represent themselves.  True there are awards for parent of the year etc, but that's really not the point is it?

I am an avid Facebook user and for a while was following Parents magazine as I figured it might be a good source for ideas for my kids.  For a while it was, but the comments that people posted were unreal.  And the worst was prompted by a post by one of their bloggers regarding a bad day she had had.

http://www.parents.com/blogs/balance-sheet/2011/06/27/parenting/not-my-shining-moment/


I read it, and didn't really see what the big deal was.  Admittedly she was going through a very busy time with work and children and was having a hard time balancing it, and felt that because of that her children suffered.  We've all had those days.  I personally didn't think her day was that bad, but again it's not a competition, if she felt she had a bad day and felt guilty for how she treated her children, then that is what is relevant.

A few of the comments had a tone of understanding or sympathy, but most were along the lines of, you think you have it bad, well listen to my sob story.  And some were just down right mean.  Saying things like what did the author have to complain about, she has a successful career and a nanny while some of us (and this is the poster talking not my personal feelings) have to actually take care of our kids, and then went on to list all the ways their life was worse than hers.  

As our mothers probably told all of us, and we will probably say to our own children, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Only a couple of the comments got listed to the actual website. The ones on FB were far snarkier, with the mean girls conversing between their posts on how easy Allison has it and who is she to complain. And then of course the whole SAHM vs Working Mom debate flared up. This is not the first time, these kind of articles have garnered these kinds of comments, so I'm defriending Parents magazine. Not because of the publication which I still subscribe to, but because of their readers who I am ashamed of.

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I love all your comments, but admittedly have been a slacker about replying to all your kind words. I've recently received a bit of spam on my posts so will now be moderating any comments - and not allowing anonymous commenting. I hope that will help me stay on top of replies.