Monday night I went out to dinner with 4 friends for a far too infrequent girls night out. We all know each other through my friend who is getting divorced. She wasn't able to make it, and in a way that was better. This was the first time we'd all gotten together since getting the news and we all needed to talk through it. We all have known both sides for a long time and I admit there are other members of the group who will have a much harder time with this than I am.
Our little group was made up of
- her sister in law
- the wife of her close friend (and former high school boyfriend) who used to be roommates with the husband
- the wife of her good friend from college
- the sister of her college roommates exhusband
Obviously the first two are the most conflicted. We all agreed that we don't have any desire to socialize with the new guy. Although one of our group actually did meet him one night when they happened to go to a play on the same night. She wasn't impressed.
I think we would all have had an easier time with it if there was no infidelity involved. They have finally told their kids which apparently did not go well - no real surprise there.
We didn't spend the whole time gossiping about them, we also caught up on other happier topics. but it was therapeutic for all of us to talk about since we are all in the same boat, and like I mentioned she is the common friend that brought us all together.
The next few get togethers are going to be awkward no doubt. I hope as they make the transition to their new lives (they're still living in the same house) things will get easier, but I think we're slowly working our way through the stages of grief and now are mostly in the anger phase. Next apparently is sadness and then finally acceptance and hope.
I'm sad for the kids having to be dealing with this all right as the holidays are coming up. It's going to rough for all of them, but I hope they make it through ok.
Since it was a Monday night it was a fairly early night, I was home by 10. My husband was initially surprised that I was home so early, but as I told him women can cover more in two hours than men will in a month ;)
We all decided we need to make these get togethers more frequent and hopefully we will make it work.