Thursday, October 18, 2012

Finding a Middle Ground

Little Reader has very definite opinions on things, and once she decides something, that's the way it is for a long time.  With her there is no in between, you don't kind of like something, you either love it or hate it. It's very black and white.  For a while I've been pushing her to find the middle ground.  Her favorite color is turquoise.  If I see her getting too obsessed with the negative side of something, I tell her to find her turquoise (since it's a mix of colors)

The other day I took the kids with me to a local mall to pick out a birthday present for their friend. We started at Target but didn't find anything we liked so walked through Sears to get to Claire's. We had barely entered the store when Little Reader asked, "why don't you like Sears?"
Me: When did I say I don't like Sears?
Her: Well, I don't know, but we never shop here.

First off I don't have anything against Sears. It's rarely my first choice when shopping, but since they started carrying Lands End I do shop there more frequently, and their toy department has saved Christmas on at least two occasions.

Second, and this is the bigger point, I realized that she's getting her very cut and dry opinions from me. For example, I loathe Walmart, but love Target. I know some people love Walmart the way I love Target and Costco, but around here Walmart sucks and I avoid Walmart at absolutely all costs

She's getting to the age where she takes other peoples opinions on things very seriously and how you feel about something affects how you fit in. I need to encourage her to have a more open mind.  I need to start adhering to the old adage of if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Little Ears hear everything, and they really tune in to the negative stuff.  While I do feel I should be honest with her about my views about the important stuff, I need to work on showing her that everything is not black and white, yes and no, good or bad - that there are many shades of gray.

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