Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Stop Making Excuses - Make New Friends But Keep the Old

As I've mentioned before I moved around a little growing up and my parents no longer live in what I consider my hometown (where I lived from age 3-15).

I have never made friends easily. Mostly I relied on people to approach me. I rarely take the first step. Once someone befriends me I do open up but I hate to admit the insecurities are there for a little while.

When we moved to our current town nine years ago I didn't know anyone but was often reassured that once I had kids, I'd meet lots of people. Three kids later, it's true I know lots of people in town and have common interests with some but don't have any I would call friends.

The other day one of my good friends from grade/high school facemailed me saying she was listening to the 80s station on the radio and thinking back to all the fun times we had together.  I replied with a quote from Stand By Me. "I never had any friends later like the ones I had when I was twelve." Which is definitely true but kind of bittersweet.

I joined a women's group shortly after Little Reader was born, and I've participated sporadically. The other night they had a wine tasting at a local boutique. Bring a bottle of wine for blind tasting, get 20% off women's clothing. It started at 6, by the time my husband came home and we had eaten it was almost seven, I started making excuses of why I should just skip it, then I realized I have to stop making excuses and just go. What's the worst that's going to happen? So I changed and went.

There were a lot of new faces but a couple of familiar. I talked to a few people, tried some wines and went home with a Vera Bradley iPad cover and a cool new LBD.  Not a bad night.  Still while there was no one there I really clicked with, I'm never any good at taking it to that next step.  Making new friends is kind of like dating. Since I met my husband so early in college, I never really dated much so don't really know how.  I guess some women go for coffee, I don't drink coffee.  I know making excuses again, but seriously, how do you progress from acquaintance to friend?

While I need to make an effort to make new friends, I also need to do a better job keeping up with the old. My 3 best friends are all spread out, and we keep up on each others lives mostly via FB. While that's good in some ways, it's not the same as a phone call and I need to start making the time to reconnect. I have all sorts of excuses there too. Two of them work full time and I don't want to disturb them at work (when I tend to not have kids around and actually can talk on the phone). While they could probably talk in the evenings that's my time to relax, and catch up with my husband. The other has 4 kids and is home. Again I need to stop making excuses.  

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